18. Mistakes in Thinking
Here are some of the ways to feel joy in your life. It is a matter of taking prospective from a high vantage point. Sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are not. When we are happy someone did something nice to us, paid us a compliment, or said that they liked us or love us. When we are sad it might be that someone hurt our feeling, doubted us or insulted us.
But if we know we can be happy without someone making us happy, if we know our thoughts helps us create our mood, we can move from depression to happiness. It seems simple, and it is.
Having good friends is very important. Be yourself and mix with people. Do not pretend. Most people love to be with other supportive people.
MISTAKE: I'd be happier if I just had more to do... Or I'd be happier if I just have less to do
The main thing to do is to love yourself all the time. This does not mean you don't control yourself. Make a check list of what needs to be done and make it a sacred list of things you must do. Getting things done leads to happiness.
MISTAKE: I want to get high
Getting high on some food when you are not very hungry, having too much sex, taking drugs will get you high, but for a short time. By solving your problems, and helping others you can stay high. You can be high.
MISTAKE: It's not me, it's you
Psychologist call it projection. Blaming others is a waste of time. If we blame others, then we can avoid working on ourselves. People like to blame their spouse, parents, children, boss, or friends but will not look at themselves. It is not good to feel guilty either. Just get to know yourself as deep and complete as you can.
MISTAKE: I just need to discover the secret to success to be happy
There are no great secrets out there that will make life easy like magic. Well there might be, for instance, think positive thoughts. Or you are what you think. But over the long run it is hard work to understand ourselves and grow. Take baby steps. Move from depression to anger to neutral to happiness. Be patient.
Be real and accept what is going on. Do not pretend for very long. By pretending everything is perfect when it is not, is lying to oneself and sets up impossible expectations. There is no phrase, no magic pill, no body is going to rescue you, period. It is a matter of doing it for yourself. Now some things can help, like exercise, going to bed at a reasonable hour, knowing which herbs to take, and knowing what is good for you to eat can help.
MISTAKE: There is no God, and I am free to think and do what I want to.
Getting close to God is getting close to the heart and mind of the universe. The universe is a lot bigger than anything including yourself and your friends and loves. God is the reference for you mind machine, your brain. It fosters love and cooperation. God loves us very much. God is not mean, or tricked or plays games. God is the truth of truths. Got makes our lives meaningful and paves the way with love.
DEFINITION of mind
There are actually two minds, the lower mind that is fed by the body, and the higher mind is fed by spirit. The body supplies all the instinctive emotions on a gut level. We have our appetites, and our basic needs. The higher mind wants to learn and explore, find love and peace and help others and be close to God.
DEFINITION of soul
The soul is our experiencer of life. It is our consciousness, the I behind the I, that which experiences and has the will to think, feel and direct. The soul can get sick there is no leadership within the brain/mind.
MISTAKE: The brain and soul separate things
The soul experiences. If you take a sleeping pill, the soul goes to sleep and does not experience the outside world, only dreams. If you make up your mind to stay awake, the soul can force the brain to stay awake.
So the soul and the brain at some level mix together, like salt and water they flow together.
MISTAKE: I will be happy when I get married, have the right job, fall in love with the perfect person, get a car...
Outside stuff will make you happy until you get tired of it. Some of the most unhappy people are rich. Some of the poorest people are happy. If we make up our mind that we can be happy right now, we will be happy right now. Too simple? Too many people wait for the perfect moment that never comes. But when we have a sense of fulfillment then our lives are full. That is why they call it fulfillment!
MISTAKE: Nothing is going right
From the highest viewpoint everything is perfect right now, right here. Everything is perfect. Everything is following God's laws.
If you did not have challenges you would be completely bored out of your mind. So when things go wrong, consider it a blessing.
Thus what we think when we say "everything" is actually just how you feel. Two people can see things completely differently.
We have to love ourselves and take care of ourselves. It begins now, not later.
MISTAKE: I like the way things are right now, and never want them to change.
Sorry Charlie, time means change and nothing is the same for long. We and the house age. Clothes wear out. Our friends and loves come and go. Gradually or suddenly, poof and now what do you do.
You best accept the change and optimize it the best you can.
If you were never fired from a job, you would be stuck in it.
MISTAKE: I am too old, too dumb, and it will never happen.
Some of the strongest people are in their 80's. Most people get wiser as they age. Being dumb is better than being unhappy all the time. You can hire smart people. It is hard to hire people that will genuinely love you.
When you have to have a dream and the perseverance to complete your current task, there is always something else to do.
MISTAKE: I will tell the truth, avoid things I don't like and everything will work out
Tell a women you don't like her hat, and even though it is true, you just don't wave about silly things. But if something is important, mention it in the most gentle manner.
MISTAKE: It is a very scary world out there.
In most places the crime rate has gone down. Why? We have cell phones. If something is going on, we can call the police in nothing flat.
The news is a matter of raking mud. Blood and guts sells. Fear sells. Stay away from the news for at least a couple of days and see if your heart is more at peace.
David Ropeik (2002) wrote a book called Risk! It is a practice guide for deciding what is really safe and what is really dangerous in the world around you. People are scared to talk in front of a group, but smoke. That does not compute.
We have to be in charge of ourselves, not our habits. Smoking will make you sick. Eating just any kind of food will up the odds of getting cancer, heart disease, or diabetes. Many people have excuses like life is not worth living unless you have fun. Getting sick is no fun at all.
MISTAKE: I'll decide when I know for sure what to do
People that horde things do not know who they are. If you know what your passion is in life you will never for a moment worry about what to do. Know your good and act on it!.
MISTAKE: Believing in luck, or astrology, and the like.
Homeopathy does not work. There are lots of other types of Visit www.whatistheharm.net and read about the millions of dollars lost, the many people who get injured and die. There is so much dumb information out on the Internet. Now acupuncture may work, and hypnosis has it place, but the rest of the stuff is not just woowoo but dangerous.
MISTAKE: Mass Consciousness
One of my relatives said that I am a 10 percenter person. Now that was the best compliment I had have in a long time. Be proud to be different, of course in a good way.
Updated March 23, 2013